“Life is not a race.
Life is not a competition.”
Those two lines are deceptively simple, yet they carry a quiet, radical wisdom that challenges much of what many of us were taught during our formative years.
The Race Mentality We Inherit
From childhood, we’re often nudged—or shoved—into a mindset of comparison:
- Grades, trophies, promotions, and milestones become markers of worth.
- We’re told to “keep up,” “get ahead,” or “win,” as if life were a track with a finish line.
- Even joy gets measured: Who’s happier? Who’s more fulfilled?
This conditioning can make us feel like we’re perpetually behind, even when we’re doing just fine.
The Wisdom of Slowing Down
To say life is not a race is to reclaim your own rhythm:
- It means honouring your pace, even if it’s slower, quieter, or less flashy.
- It invites presence over performance—living deeply rather than quickly.
- It allows for growth that isn’t linear: spirals, pauses, regressions, rediscoveries.
And to say life is not a competition is to shift from scarcity to abundance:
- There’s room for everyone’s light—your success doesn’t dim mine.
- It encourages collaboration over comparison, and compassion over conquest.
- It frees us from the exhausting need to prove, and lets us simply be.
Relearning What You Were Taught
Unlearning the race-and-competition mindset is a lifelong practice. It takes:
- Gentle self-talk: “I’m allowed to go at my own pace.”
- Curiosity over judgment: “What feels true for me right now?”
- A community that uplifts rather than ranks.
Many of us are quietly stepping off the racetrack and finding something richer: a life that’s not about winning, but about meaning.
Adéwale Adéniji, a board member of ìAfrika, is an accredited Coach, Group Facilitator and Organisational Consultant with extensive experience in the field of human development. He is a certified Daring Way™ and Dare to Lead™ Facilitator, a curriculum based on the research of Dr Brené Brown, which explores topics such as vulnerability, courage, empathy, shame, and worthiness.